Archive for January, 2012

2011  Regrets: Loss, Relationship  Accomplishments: Balance, Self-Control

2012  Goals:  Order, Simplicity, Mildness, Relationship, Hospitality

2011 will, of course, always be the year we lost my sister.  Whatever happened before and after is defined and redefined by that event.  Were we close?  Be honest, no.  Was it my fault?  In part I am sure.  There was no disagreement, we simply lived in two different worlds.  There was a year or two in my life when I honestly tried to bridge that gap, but I felt the effort was mostly mine and the distance was ultimately too great.  It began with a fifteen year age difference, spanned a slightly different parentage and ended with what amounts, I suppose, to an economic cultural divide.   But she was my sister.  And I loved her.  We laughed together and we loved together and when she was gone, my heart was broken.

My accomplished husband has pretty much cornered the market in discussing relationships (the building of, the nurturing and defining) and I don’t have much to add there.  I wrote a post last year talking about my ideas of friendship and relationship.  Looking back, I cannot honestly say that I did what I wanted to do in the realm of friendship, but I hope that I made strides internally if not externally.  Guardedness and Phlegmaticism are not a good pairing when one hopes to achieve deep relationships, but I am working on it.

My acomplishments are all centered here.  I don’t feel the need to talk more about it except to say that after about six months I can see more where self-control is necessary to live the life I have come to love.  It sounds so simple, but it can be hard to pass up that order of sweet potato fries just because after one bite you can tell it was floured or seasoned with something “extra yum” or cooked in oil that also fried onion rings or other gluteny treats.

My goals will have to be fleshed out in a new post.  I am taking to heart what the ever wise Modern Mrs. Darcy has written here and so must take the time to find specificity in my goals.


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